Giving Up Social Media: Should I?

The year was 2021. In a world buzzing with tweets, snaps, and endless scrolling, I found myself at a crossroads. The question that lingered in my mind was as simple as it was complex: should I give up social media?

The idea had been bouncing around my head for weeks. The constant notifications, the pressure to post the perfect picture, the mindless scrolling that seemed to steal hours from my day – it all felt like a whirlwind I couldn't escape. But could I really disconnect from the virtual world that had become an integral part of my daily life?

One evening, fueled by frustration, I decided to embark on a social media detox. No more refreshing timelines, no more endless stories, just a break from the digital cacophony. As I deleted apps from my phone, a strange mix of liberation and anxiety washed over me. What if I missed out on important updates or exciting news? Would my friends forget about me if I wasn't constantly present in their online lives?

Days turned into weeks, and the initial discomfort began to fade. Instead of reaching for my phone during idle moments, I picked up a book I'd been neglecting or went for a walk without the constant urge to document it for my followers. Surprisingly, the quiet moments without the constant buzz of notifications became a refuge, allowing me to reconnect with the tangible world around me.

Yet, doubts lingered. Was I losing touch with the pulse of society? Were friendships fading away without the virtual threads tying us together? It was a paradox – the very platforms designed to connect us had left me questioning the authenticity of those connections.

As the weeks turned into a month, the fog began to lift. I realized the value of genuine, face-to-face interactions. The laughter that wasn't interrupted by the need to capture the perfect Instagram-worthy moment became more profound. Conversations regained depth without the constraints of character limits.

However, there was a void. The updates from distant friends, the instant access to global news – these were undeniable perks of the social media era. It wasn't a black-and-white decision, and I grappled with the shades of gray.

In the end, I found a compromise. Instead of a complete abandonment, I opted for a mindful re-engagement. I reinstalled a few select apps, unfollowed the noise, and cultivated a curated online space that added value rather than cluttered my mind. The detox had given me the perspective needed to navigate the digital landscape on my own terms.

Giving up social media wasn't a cure-all, but it was a reset button. It allowed me to reclaim my time, nurture genuine connections, and savor the moments without the pressure to document them. In this journey, I discovered that balance was the key – a lesson that transcended both the virtual and physical realms.

Longest Longing

She is smart

She is cheerful

She is adorable

She always curious

She always laughs

Then,

She feels sad

She feel jealous

She feels angry

She loves books

She loves playing outside

She loves being on the spotlight

Then,

She get bored

She feels not good enough

She wants to run

She wants to go

She is the little me I long to see.

What's on My Mind Right Now?

I am not sure about what is exactly going on my mind right now. Because everything is mixed up. Everything is there. It's like an airport on a pre-pandemic peak holiday season. Crowded and busy and stuffed and chaotic.

If my mind was a cabinet, it definitely not sparking any joy. Marie Kondo would have had busy time in there.

Merapal Semoga-Semoga

Setiap tahun, di awal tahun, aku selalu membuat resolusi dan harapan-harapan tentang apa yang ingin aku capai pada tahun tersebut. Terakhir, awal tahun 2021 lalu, aku membuat daftar hal-hal yang ingin aku dapatkan di tahun ini yang aku tempel di dinding sebelah tempat tidur. Harapannya, setiap bangun tidur aku jadi semangat mengejar apa yang sudah aku tulis. Nyatanya, sampai pertengahan tahun belum ada satupun poin yang tercapai. Bahkan, di bulan Agustus, aku mencabut daftar itu dari dinding dan membakarnnya di wastafel dapur. Sungguh tragis.

Namun, begitulah. Terkadang target membuatku merasa dikejar-kejar. Aku menyadari berpaku pada target-target yang rigid tidak cocok untukku. Maka, alih-alih membikin target-target sepertinya akan lebih cocok kalau yang kubuat adalah daftar harapan. Lebih simpel buatku dan tidak ada keharusan untuk mendapatkannya. Namanya juga harapan, yakan? Hehe.

Aku punya tiga harapan terbesar yang aku harap dapat terwujud dengan usahaku dan restu Tuhan. I wish to be happier and healthier. Ada yang bilang kalau bahagia itu sederhana. Bagiku tidak juga. Beberapa tahun ke belakang, bahagia bukan sesuatu yang mudah aku temukan. Akhirnya, berpengaruh juga ke kesehatan. Sering pusing dan sering pingsan (Tahun 2019 adalah tahun sering-seringnya aku pingsan. Pernah di kamar mandi, di dapur, yang paling parah di pasar). Tahun ini, aku berharap menjadi pribadi yang lebih sehat dan bahagia. 

I wish to have more time to savor and send gratitudes. Sebenarnya, aku berharap punya lebih banyak waktu, titik. Tetapi aku menyadari, jika aku punya lebih banyak waktu saja pada akhirnya akan aku buang-buang untuk sesuatu yang tidak terlalu berguna. Maka, aku berharap, punya lebih banyak waktu untuk menikmati melakukan hal-hal yang aku suka, memusatkan perhatian pada setiap momen yang aku lalui, dan bersyukur untuk semua itu.

I wish for a better relationship. A better relationship with my parents, my sister, my family, my boyfriend, my friend, well basically everyone. I know that I am not that good at keeping a lasting relationship. My social and communication skill are awful. Aku ingin mencoba untuk bersosialisasi dan berkomunikasi dengan lebih baik. Walau berat dan menyeramkan bagiku untuk secara intens berhubungan dengan orang lain, aku harus tetap mencoba. Karena, pada akhirnya, aku sebagai manusia tidak akan sanggup hidup untuk diriku sendiri. Dan, percaya deh, terputus dari dunia luar, menghadapi masalah sendirian bukan ide yang bagus apalagi menyenangkan. 

Bagiku, harapan adalah sesuatu yang tetap harus diusahakan. Apalah artinya kalau kita menginginkan seuatu untuk terjadi tapi tidak berbuat apa-apa untuk membuatnya terjadi. Setidaknya, berusahalah dulu walau sedikit. Selebihnya, biar tangan Tuhan yang bekerja. Semoga takdir Tuhan selaras dengan harapan kita. Aamiin ~